


Ignorance is Bliss

by justanothernobody



Category: GOT7, K-pop
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Break Up, Heavy Angst, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-25 11:11:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14975930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanothernobody/pseuds/justanothernobody
Summary: You're always aware that you'll never last, but you choose to ignore it.





	1. i hold you in my arms

**Author's Note:**

> I recommend you listen to TVXQ!'s 'Before U Go' and Super Junior's 'Sorry Sorry - Answer' while reading this. Also, the title of the chapter is taken from these two songs.
> 
> The second part of this will be posted this Saturday, so stay tuned. English isn't my first language so do comment if you see any errors. I appreciate constructive criticism so feel free to do so too. Enjoy! :)

It might've been alright at first. Honestly, he can't truly remember. What he does recall, the rush from knowing that _they're together_ was definitely fuel to the fire.

Long before they were together what they had was, as clichéd as it is, something _more_. On some days Mark showed his affection for him more openly, letting sweet words tangle with even sweeter actions and warming Jackson to the core. On other days he kept quiet, only stealing glances from a distance that Jackson pretended to not have noticed. It's endearing, to know that Mark will break his silence for him only.

Compared to him, Jackson was never too subtle about his words and gestures. Always speaking of him in the fondest manner, putting him first – there was no way Mark didn't notice it.

At that point everyone was more than tired of seeing them not together yet. He remembered Kunpimook threatening him that he would 'dab so much so that you die of overcringing and will never hear his Chinese ass proclaim love to you'. He didn't know if he should've been offended or amused.

When the confession _did_ happen it had been an accident. A sweet moment the two shared backstage; Jaebum was probably with Jinyoung, Youngjae towing along with them, Yugyeom and Kunpimook somewhere with their friends in the after-hours of a performance. They stayed in the changing room, he spoke all while Mark listened. It was what they did most. He was always loud enough for the two of them. They understood each other to where words were never a necessity for Mark, Jackson just preferred to use them as a habit from when they first met.

It might've been the way they acted when it was only the two of them, hushed but content. Or maybe it was the built-up tension that had been surrounding them. Whatever it was that had been going on to tip him over the edge certainly worked. Jackson had blurted out the words in a rushed manner. To a stranger, what he said was practically incomprehensible. To Mark, it was clear as day. Even if he never heard a reply the smile on Mark's face was the brightest it had ever been, that was more than enough for Jackson.

He doesn't speak much since they've met, Mark realises then. His quiet persona puts speaking as a chore rather than an indulgence, choosing to be a listener instead. He speaks only when needed, mostly in interviews and when a question is thrown at him and he is forced to voice out a reply. He knows it doesn't bother Jackson at all. He knows that not everyone can be as extroverted as him and has long accepted that. After all, Mark's introverted nature was one of the aspects that had pulled the younger closer towards him.

_Oh well_ , he thinks. Mark suited the 'man of actions' type anyways. It didn't burden him when he knew that Jackson decided to be the one to say 'I love you' first, and he knows Jackson's upset to say it won't be a burden even now when Mark doesn't want to reply him with neither words nor action.

When Mark looks back, he realises, their relationship was bound to fall apart from the start. He continues to be indifferent knowing this.

He didn't know when the shift happened. When being in a relationship changed from being a luxury to a chore.

Maybe it happened at that time he was too tired to do anything and ignored all incoming calls, even from Jackson. Or maybe it had been that day when he decided to avoid the younger on some variety shoot. Maybe it was when the lies became easier to weave. He couldn't exactly pinpoint when.

All he knows is that one fine morning he was just so exhausted from being together. He had sat upright on the bed in an instant. _Why in the world did he think this way?_ He shouldn't be thinking like this. He wanted to be in a relationship with Jackson just as much as the other wants to be together with him.

And he didn't realise it either when he started considering to break it off. He wasn't aware of the fact that he's been wanting to do this, right now he's just awaiting for the chance to present itself on a silver platter. He patiently waited. Entertained the younger with this short-lived fantasy. He has never considered himself a fraud, and yet here he is doing what fits its description perfectly.

The little crack through the wall got him through. It was another one of their arguments. Mark was rarely with him lately and Jackson sensed trouble. The fight had been ugly. The words Jackson said left a deep impression on him yet he can't deny that what he said wasn't a lie. And in the peak of heated words, he said it.

_Let's break up._

Jackson didn't even budge at this.

_Yeah, let's._

The weight atop his shoulders doesn't lighten, if anything it just feels more burdensome. He knows exactly why.


	2. know this before you go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the last part of this twoshot. Thanks for waiting and I hope you guys like it!

One thing many quickly associate him with is the abundant amount he talks. After all, words are his forte. He is always able to put them together to express his emotions. Paired with a cheery grin, it made everyone around him happy too. Onstage with a powerful rap and a sultry voice, it made their fans swoon. But when with red eyes and tear tracks, words quickly became useless.

The reason why words and sadness was unusual for him was because it doesn't belong there. It was always in the way he carried himself. Always happy, ignoring the negativities, choosing to see the cup half full instead of half empty. That's how he sees the world through his vision.

With romantic partners he was never too different, he thinks. Maybe he would just be with them more, smile around them, act a bit more obnoxious to see the other smile too – he will feel stupid afterwards but it doesn't matter when the excitement just fills him up so much.

Especially with Mark. He was always infatuated with the elder. They spent a lot of time together, or rather, he forces the other to spend his off-days with him only. Back then they were still foreigners in Seoul, with English, Chinese, and amateur Korean being what they had in common. The ridiculous amount of training to prepare them for debut certainly had its positives. It made Jackson see the other more frequently.

They just, _clicked_. Their demeanour might not show it, but they do things and have similar preferences. They both take their coffee with the same amount of sugar, sleeps with the lights off – he had even thought their similar heights must've been a sign of compatibility.

And once the period of skirting around each other ended and they officially are _together_ together, it somehow loses its appeal. He imagined it to be all ups and no downs. Clearly, his rose-coloured glasses had hidden the fact that not every road was made smooth.

He learned through this that there are two sides to everything — the side you choose to believe and the side you don't want to acknowledge. Their relationship was no different.

He convinced himself it was fine and that they were going strong. He ignored the disappointment that comes when he called Mark and the line went to voicemail. He pretended it didn't hurt when Mark focused more on the 5 others in their group albeit too obviously. He certainly erased memories of those nights when Mark just doesn't want to put up the facade that Jackson's feelings are reciprocated.

So when they had another fight about some little tick Mark does, he gets this unsettling sense of finality.

He chooses not to acknowledge this too, yet like every other thing he decided to ignore about Mark it goes exactly the way he knows it will.

_Let's break up._

He processed the words. He wasn't all too shocked. He lets out his own reply.

_Yeah, let's._

And yet this time, he can't ignore the emptiness that tug at his heartstrings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crossposted on AFF under the account @mp_2506

**Author's Note:**

> Crossposted on AFF under the account @mp_2506


End file.
